It is often said that advice is worth what you pay for it. Considering that most advice is freely given, it would seem to be worth very little. In the case of divorce however, the advice of those who have more experience with the topic may be worth a bit more. Getting divorced is never easy and can present many obstacles to overcome along the way. Good advice from those who have already been through the process can be a big help in gaining a new perspective about moving forward after a divorce. Here is a list of insightful divorce advice Do’s and Don’ts to help make your own journey through a divorce a bit easier for everyone involved:
Divorce - Do's & Don'ts
- Do start a journal to record your evolving thoughts on being single, your goals for the future and your values.
- Do practice your communication skills and learn to listen carefully to others. Good listeners make better communicators.
- Do control your emotional outbursts and move from feeling-based decision making toward rational, objective decision making.
- Don’t make unreasonable demands upon yourself. Be realistic about what you can do and what you can’t.
- Don’t overreact to issues that tend to make you angry. Learn what your hot buttons are and try to measure your responses.
- Don’t make unnecessary drastic, life-changing decisions while you are in the process of getting divorced, your thinking will be more clear a few months down the line.
- Do make a schedule for your daily life. A clear and repeatable routine will allow you to exercise more control of your life.
- Do treat yourself to a healthy lifestyle. You can deal with the stress of divorce far more effectively if you have healthy eating, sleeping and exercise habits.
- Do make a note of your disappointments and regrets in writing and share them with your therapist, counselor or other trusted advisors.
- Don’t deny your feelings. The pain and trauma of a divorce are not trivial issues. Face your feelings, it can take some time to get over them. Pretending you are unaffected will only prolong the misery.
- Do talk to your children and reassure them that there will be many changes ahead, but that life will continue to go on.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for support from your family, friends and divorce professionals if you need assistance. Utilizing all the resources you have at your disposal will yield the quickest positive results.